random thoughts


writing with nothing specifically in mind..

putting on notes whatever comes to my mind impromptu..

just listening to the music of Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - darn!had trouble spelling that word..

Guardian Angel.. yeah, that's what i aLways do.. just watch and love from a distance.. just watch and love without them knowing it.. oh hell, who cares? i just love, unconditionally.. i think that's what matters..

and now i'm wonderin' why the hell my pLaylist stopped?? lag.. i really REALLY need a better PC..  still lookin' forward and hopin' i could own one..

i feel it deep within, i must confessed i feeL Like a monster.. Hey! hey! feel like a monster! hahaha.. who couLd've thought this music's a christian rock.. hhahaha.. oh well.. still havin' trouble with that.. still feelin' that way.. still feelin' that monster's inside of me.. and still I'm ready to destroy whoever pisses me off..

*sigh*  WHY DO I FEEL EMPTINESS?!?! i'm happy.. i know i am.. but i still feel lost.. i need your prayers..

just in the brink of being lonely, c'mon.. her message just popped up. :p still she has the magic to make me smile..

*sigh*

i need to grow.. i'm an engLish grad, but now i work in a bank.. i'm not a good english conversationalist.. i'm just a writer wannabe.. my goodness..I NEED TO GROW! i'm not contented with what i'm doing.. i know.. i'm not built to become a mediocre.. i know i can do more.. and i know i haven't done my best at all.. teehee.. i'm just a cub who growLs ferociously, but would sound a kitty cute meow...

no matter how hard i strive.. i just can't do it..  Like a child jumping with all his might, but will never EVER reach the skies..

still the nocturne washout..