I envy those who dream.
Have I not slept long enough to dream of something? Why am I feeling this emptiness? Have I no dream?
It’s been a long time, I always hear stories of dreams come true. I feel happy for them. Many stories have I watched in TV. Heard in their music. Read in their writings. Many stories were shared even in movies, in cartoons, in sitcoms, and in everything else. I’ve heard most of it and witnessed some, too. I feel happy for them.
Then, I envy them.
I’ve heard of a story of a man who dreamed of becoming a musician. At an early age of 17, he decided to join a band. He wanted to hold the guitars, but was given the mic. He didn’t like it then. Now, they’re rocking the industry.
From the same band, the moment he saw a guitar, he knew from that very moment that he wanted to be in a band. From that same day, he dreamt big of becoming a rock star. He managed to reach his dreams.
This one story is one of my influences. When he was little, people mocked his poetry. He never stopped. When he grew up, he became one of the best dramatist to date.
There are so many dreams of others I saw came true. There were some which ended up a little different than what they expect, but they were glad it did. Some were still stuck in achieving those dreams and still fighting for it. Some, had given up.
I dream of…. I don’t know. I can’t find myself anywhere in the future. The reason why I envy people with dreams, big or small, is that… they, have dreams.
When I was little, what I dreamt of is just to finish my studies. I just wanted to please people around me. I never had a path to walk through. I waited for people to be with me and just go with them. If it pleases them, I do it. Never had I imagine I would feel this lost afterwards.
Now, I am looking for my dreams. I don’t know what to do. Should I sleep some more, though I feel I’ve never been awake in my life. I’ve always been sleeping, but never had a dream. I feel like I never moved at all.
Have I slept long enough? Have I not slept at all? Had I a dream during my sleep and lost it all at my wake? Should I sleep some more?
I envy those who dream.
I knew I had once. But I may have been struggling to achieve it. I… always wanted to write. I want to write a book. That’s all I ever wanted. I wanted to share all these dreams, all these experiences to people I love, even to the world. I may be dreaming something I couldn’t achieve. Still, I will go for it. I won’t stop writing even if the world would tell me so.
A sleeper is not a dreamer. A dreamer stops sleeping and will wake up to make it all come true.